I Don't, But I Do

I don't have pretty blue or green eyes. 

I don't have a slender, athletic, "powerhouse" body. 

By the time I graduate with my undergrad, I will have been in school for 6 years,

(The time it takes most people to do an undergrad and a masters...) and I've already been told that it "doesn't count" because I'm "just" graduating from BYU, so "who cares?"

I don't own a fancy car. 

I don't own "in fashion" clothes. 

I am extremely self conscious about my weight and sometimes feel like an elephant among swans. 

Sometimes I'm so nervous about being perceived as ridiculous or silly or stupid that I suppress who I am and can't get comfortable around certain people.  

Often times I think I am the only one who cares about what I care about. 

I'm often fairly certain that I am the last person on peoples' "Care About" list. 

I struggle. I cry. Sometimes I avoid mirrors so I don't have to look at me.

BUT

I do have a wonderful husband who loves me no matter what I look like or how comfortable or uncomfortable I feel in my skin. He likes my brown eyes.

I have a job where I help so many people. I may not be a nurse, a fighter pilot or a child care specialist but I certainly do good and help people. 

At least I have a car! One that I don't have to make payments on, one that works, one that is reliable...most of the time.

I will graduate from BYU and I will have worked hard (I am currently) and it will count.

I have clothes. They aren't the cutest but I have a wide variety to choose from.

I have learned that if people look at me and only see an elephant, they aren't worth my time. 

I run. I may not run far or fast but I run and I am grateful that I have a body that is capable of doing that. 

In moments when I think nobody cares, I realize that it's not up to them to care. It's up to me to care. 

I have come to learn, through the help of my husband, that it is okay to cry, okay to not understand and okay to not be okay.

I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and I love Him. He knows me and my needs and if everyone else in this world left me, He would still be by my side.

Why My Husband Rocks

Neil is the best thing that has ever happened in my life. I am blown away by his constant care of me. I love him and here are just a few reasons why. 

This is by no means a comprehensive list.

1. He always makes me breakfast and lunch
2. Neil is the most patient guy I know, he never gets mad
3. He'll call me to let me know when he's on his way home. 
4. He is a really great cook and he'll make dinner when I am feeling tired
5. He takes out the trash
6. I'm pretty sure he has done more laundry in our married life than I have
7. He snuggles me and helps me feel better on rough days
8. He has never failed to open the door for me, be it the car, or a building etc. 
9. He encourages me to break out of my shell and try new things
10. He humors my crazy ideas (craft kinds...)
11. Neil is the most trusting and humble man I know. He makes friends easily and is kind to everyone
12. He loves simplicity and wide open spaces
13. He watches chick flicks with me (like, You've Got Mail, Somewhere in Time, 13 Going on 30, Confessions of a Shopaholic etc.)
14. He can make me laugh and smile when nobody else can
15. Neil is a wonderful student. There are times that I see him buried in his homework that I know I would just give up but he doesn't.When he says he will do something, he does it and he does it well. 
16. He has taught me how to save money and become financially responsible
17. He loves the Lord. He loves the Gospel and the scriptures and is so good at leading our family in spiritual and temporal matters
18. He is my biggest fan.  
19. He understands that not everything is easy and that working hard is part of life. He is teaching me this more and more every day.  
20. He loves me for who I am and who I can become.