7 Reasons Why It's Hard to Work Out (But Worth It)

If you have a Pinterest account, you'll understand when I say these kind of blog posts are 

EVERYWHERE! 

I wanted to write a little "somethin', somethin'" about my love hate relationship with working out. 

1. Being Noticed

First, let me just say that while I'm working out, I don't even want my husband to see me let alone anybody else. The hard part about working out is after. You're sore, you feel AMAZING but it's very rare for anyone to say, "You look like you worked out today! Way to go!" 

All, in all, it doesn't really matter if other people notice how you look and there is no way for someone else to feel your workout either. 

I guess it just helps when you know someone has taken the time to encourage you with words rather than "like" the selfie of your sweaty face "proving" you went on a run or got your butt kicked at Xtend Barre classes. (Here's looking at you, Bri.)

2. Showering

I love me a good shower but every day? First off, I know it's necessary especially if you've worked up a good sweat but UHG! My skin gets dried out, my hair can't handle being washed that much and, I don't know, it's too time consuming. Then I'm so tired from working out that all I want to do is hang out in my PJs with wet hair, a make-up free face, and, if I'm being honest, bra-less. Girls, you know I'm right. So maybe it's not the showering I hate but the prepping that goes into the daily look. Even a relaxed look (a step above stay-inside-all-day-hermit, just FYI) takes effort. Doing my hair whether it's still wet or I've blow dried it. It's effort that I'd rather not take but feel obligated to complete so that I can prove I'm not as lazy as I often feel and would like to be. 

3. Others

Comparison is the thief of joy. How many times have you heard that? Alas, it is true. Don't compare your running pace, your thighs, your workout hair or how red your skin gets to the next person because it will take the joy and momentum OUT of working out. If it happens just remember that you're on your own journey. I lose sight of that fact 90% of the time. I don't believe it. BUT if I tell myself that I want to believe it, that desire carries me. So, don't give up on yourself. That can be hard. 

4.Weather

If you work out outside, this can be tricky. I hate, yes, hate running outside when it's hot. Or if there is a possibility that it may become hot while on my run. Which leads to number 5...

5. Early Wake-up Call

I like working out when there is natural light, but not enough light to make it hot. So this can be a tricky thing. I get up early and run or it just doesn't happen and not because I'm busy. It's because the sun makes it too hot. And in the summer? Oi vei.

6. Memberships

For me, if I have one, I try to get myself to go enough times in the month to "pay for itself" so that I don't feel guilty about having a "gym" category on our monthly budget. So, in that sense it's good but then you have to fight for a machine. Or plan to go when there is less "traffic". Sometimes even then you're just waiting around. I don't have time for that. However, not having a membership means that I can't always go with friends to the gym for a good swim or spin class. At least, not as often as I'd like. 

7. Fear

The infamous, "What if" comes into play here more than anywhere else in my life. What if I get injured again? What if my body doesn't respond as quickly as it did last time? What if it doesn't respond at all? What if I'm stuck feeling and looking like this forever? 

Fear is real. Fear can be debilitating or it can be a superpower. It's how you view it.

"I know you’re afraid, but being afraid is alright. Because didn’t anybody ever tell you? Fear is a superpower. Fear can make you faster and cleverer and stronger... because if you’re very wise and very strong fear doesn’t have to make you cruel or cowardly. Fear can make you kind. It doesn’t matter if there’s nothing under the bed or in the dark so long as you know it’s okay to be afraid of it. So listen. If you listen to anything else, listen to this. You’re always gonna be afraid even if you learn to hide it. Fear is like a companion, a constant companion, always there. But that’s okay because fear can bring us together. Fear can bring you home... Fear makes companions of us all." -Clara Oswald, Dr. Who, "Listen"

Forgive my geekiness for a second and take a minute to let that sink in. It's true. Fear is the reason I can't give up. Not the reason that I should.

Dear Professor...

*Disclaimer, I am not an English buff, nor do I claim to be a prolific writer. That is why this letter is on my personal blog. Will I actually be sending a copy of this letter off? No. I will most likely send a short e-mail to my professor expressing the one major concern I have. It will be light-hearted but hopefully it will make my point and the professor and I will have a good laugh and move on. I would also like to state that I make a point about paying for education (if you read this you'll know what I'm talking about) and I feel very strongly about my stance in regards to a post-high school level education. I would also like to state that I believe every educator, no matter their capacity, should be treated with respect and dignity. They are human, they have faults and I don't feel that it is wise to rake them across the board simply because of a couple imperfections. This letter has more...sass, if you will, than I would ever intend to give a Professor but it does illustrate my annoyance. It's a venting mechanism and is not meant to be overly ignorant or selfish. That being said, I hope that you'll read it and tell me what you think!

Dear Professor, 

 

                   First and foremost I would like to acknowledge and thank you for your hard work, the time and energy you have put into your lectures which is time and energy you probably could have spent seeing a new movie, playing with you children, or on a date with your spouse, etc. Yet, you spent it on us. You're pupils. That being said I would like to point out a couple of things that you may want to take under consideration for what could be a better set of lectures.

                  The first topic I wish to discuss is the biggest annoyance I have faced in the lectures I have attended thus far. Students leaving five to ten minutes early. And by students I am referring to that one student-please note the singular form here- that left each class period ten minutes early. Now, I know you have no control over who stays or who leaves and when that event takes place. However, you do have control over you. If I am being completely honest, I did not even realize that a student had left the room. I was enraptured by the topic which the class was discussing, the topic which you were teaching us about. Then, mid-sentence you said, "Do I smell bad? Do I look funny? Why did they just leave?" I was so completely caught off guard. I thought perhaps you were characterizing a face of one whose painting we were discussing. Unfortunately, this was not the case. You drew attention away from the lecture to the student whom had left. A student whom I, and probably others in the class, did not even notice had left until you interrupted your own lecture. Why would you do that to your own lecture, something you put time and effort into making an enjoyable, educational experience for those enrolled in your class? The very first day of our class, you asked that we be respectful to you and take notes "the old fashioned way" no computers, no phones etc. so that we could be properly edified, non-distracted and uninterrupted. You asked us to refrain from noisy wrappers so as to minimize distraction. So far, we have all done as you have asked. Why then do you feel it necessary to create your own distractions that exceed that of a noisy wrapper or your neighbor browsing Facebook? You were the only one to literally interrupt and distract me and my classmates in that situation. I hope that this is not a habit that will prevail throughout the remainder of our lectures and would ask that you be aware of it and respect me and my time by avoiding such behavior in the future. 

                The next topic I wish to discuss with you is your pronunciation of certain words. Perhaps this is trivial and does not bother your other students as much as it does me, but here we are. I suppose it would not be as bothersome had you not touted your prolific credentials in regards to your field of study, which happens to include the English language.  By repeating multiple words again and again incorrectly, you make me question said credentials. Though I know how these words are actually said, for example that the word "anyway" does not actually include an "s" at the end, and will say them and think them correctly in my own life, I do hope that you might consider that your credibility as a "master of the English language" is questioned when I hear that word, among others, coming from your mouth, repeatedly.

              This letter may seem as improper as the word "anyways" is, however, I needed to express my thoughts to you so that you might understand that I, and most likely other students, have expectations for our education. Often, we see the reverse. The professor provides a syllabus, an assignment calendar and outcomes for a course. A student is expected to be grateful without question for the education that they are receiving but one they are paying for. The student chose the college based on standards in education and standards they hope the faculty and staff will adhere to. They were willing to spend their money for an education provided to them by others who have preceded them in education and who have willingly dedicated their lives to raising up the following generations with good breeding and understanding. If the institution begins to fall short of that standard, the decline of respect is sure to follow. That standard is not made up by the board of trustees. They may put that standard into words but the actually reality of it comes from the student-professor relationship. I can show respect you as an individual who can teach me things I do not know but have a thirst to know and follow your class "rules". You can show me respect by keeping focus in lecture so that I might utilize that time for my edification, and by organizing your materials in such a way that any student can understand. 

          In summary, I hope you can understand that I appreciate the time you have spent preparing the materials for your class and hope that as the semester continues, you will take into consideration those things that I have pointed out. 

                                Sincerely, 

                                               Your Pupil

Positoovity

If you don't know where that word comes from, don't you fret. 

It's a pretty famous bird that sings a whole song about "Positoovity" and quite frankly it's easily becoming one of my favorite songs. 

Okay, okay, I'll tell you where it comes from, Disney's The Little Mermaid on Broadway. 

I'm including a video so that you can all be introduced to the beauty that is Positoovity. 

I'm blogging about it today because this morning was a "running" day. Meaning I ran this morning. (Just the thought alone of me FINALLY back out there are running makes my heart do a happy dance!)

Positoovity is on my playlist for what I think are obvious reasons. Let me explain. 

Scuttle sings this song and if anyone has seen The Little Mermaid, you'll know that Scuttle has quite an interesting vernacular for things. For example, a "fork" is a "dinglehopper" and is not used for eating but for combing one's hair, or in this case, "positivity" is "positoovity" and thank goodness they mean the same thing. 

He is a know-it-all bird who knows really "nothing" but is actually pretty wise. 

Wait. What?

Yeah, he may be terribly misinformed but he has good intentions and what he says helps Ariel develop her land legs, if you will. 

Now for the running part of this post. Usually the first 15 minutes of my run are energy packed. During the "walk" intervals, it's a brisk heart pumping walk that is almost faster than the "jog" intervals of the workout. However, when minutes 16-20 hit, suddenly I'm dragging my burning legs along at a pretty slow pace. That being said, I do try to pace myself in the first half of the workout so that this doesn't happen but clearly I need to keep working on that... Anyway, around minute 16ish my calves were BURNING. A good burn, but still burning. I was playfully debating with myself about calling it quits but then this song came on. 

The first line Scuttle says is "What's this? You giving up so soon? You gotta have a little gumption. Yeah! A can-do kinda attitude. Take it from a gull who knows."

It made me smile. "Okay, Scuttle, I'll keep going." Then. all of a sudden I could imagine this fluffy seagull tap-dancing next to me as I ran. It's silly I know but after listening to the song, can't you feel it too?

Something else I noticed is one of Sebastian's lines. He says, "Positoovity? Why there's no such word." Okay, Mr. Crabby-pants! (teheh) But Scuttle isn't deterred. He keeps going. And says, "'Course there is! In the dictionary between popsuckle and prehysterical. Believe you me, I've seen it work miracles!" 

How true is that? The power of positivity is SO much more than just positive thinking. It can work MIRACLES!!! Now, don't get me wrong, some things require positivity in addition to a health regime set up by a doctor or therapist etc. What I like to take away from this though is the idea that being positive, having the best outlook on life no matter what you're dealing with, can truly help you with anything you might be facing. School. Work. A baby who won't sleep. Depression. All of those things in one bundle. Bills. A crappy car. Burning calf muscles. A positive outlook won't make those things go away but it can help the situation not seem so gargantuan and help you through it. That is what I think the word "positoovity" really means.

Got it?

I don't really think the writers of the song thought, "Gee, Caitlin will need this song for running just as much as Ariel is going to need it for when she gets her legs and has to kiss Prince Eric!" but here you have it. So, here is my challenge to you via Scuttle:

Let that POSITOOVITY work for YOU!!! 

Happy positoovitying, friends!

Backpacks and Lunchboxes

Backpacks. Books. Bouquets of newly sharpened pencils. 

School has started again and while this is my last Fall semester of my undergraduate degree, I'm a mix of excited and exhausted and it's only the second week! I have some really great classes that make me happy to go to school and then, of course, I have some really hard classes that make me want to stay in bed and watch Gossip Girl.

Wouldn't it just be easier that way?

Which is my point, really. Life would be easier in so many ways if we didn't have to load up our backpacks and pack our lunchboxes and sharpen our pencils and turn our brains to "learning" mode. However, if that were the situation, we'd be sacks of eyeballs, teeth and bones with nothing really to offer the world. 

Recently I took a quiz on PlayBuzz, the Buzzfeed of quizzes I guess, and was informed, after clicking on some pictures, that I had a "secret obsession with letting myself down". 

Well, isn't that the oldest news of the decade. 

It made me stop and think, though. Now, I know it was just a "silly quiz" and that I shouldn't put stock in it but it was fairly accurate. Perhaps I'm not "obsessed" with letting myself down, but I do worry about so many things and school just so happens to be one of them. It's become bad enough, that my body literally can't handle stress. Because of stressful situations, some beyond my control, I've acquired, if you will, adrenal fatigue* and now any situation that is remotely stressful or hard makes me want to sleep or turn my brain off which makes learning quite difficult.

But not learning, when I absolutely should be makes me feel like a failure. I fear letting myself down so much that I'll avoid trying new things or meeting new people or taking a risk. School is all of those things. The hard part about AF is that it's not like I have a panic attack becuase I'm heading to class. In fact, I am the kind of person that likes getting to know people and so I try. It's not until the end of the day that I realize that my body was registering certain events as stressful. How obnoxious is that?

 

This is a recent thing, too. As a kid and even throughout High School and my first couple years of college I loved meeting people and being outgoing and friendly. There were some who felt like I shouldn't be so gregarious but I was. Now, at age 24, I'm all reserved and awkward and it is frustrating because there are many moments when I don't feel like me.

That being said, I am trying to enjoy the journey that is life. Just, you know, ride the wave. If class is hard, let it be hard and push myself to be better.  If it's fun, enjoy it and take that feeling with me to my next event but keep busy. Keep going. Work out, make healthy and complete meals, do my homework, early to bed early to rise, take my vitamins, drink lots of water. All that jazz.

It's hard but it's rewarding and I'd rather be an exhausted but educated sack of eyeballs, teeth and bones than a nothing-to-offer-myself-or-my-family kind.

*Adrenal fatigue. I can't remember if I've written a post about this but this news was actually a relief! Weird, I know. My two previous doctors had basically given up on me so I switched to a new one. She is AMAZING. She listens and when I told her about my last experiences, which were less than amusing, she sympathized and said, "There is nothing we can't do to help you. We'll figure this out and we won't stop until we do!" Anyway, after giving what felt like a million tubes of blood (I think it was around 12, really), and a cotton swab chewy test thing, the results were in. Adrenal fatigue was the diagnosis. You'd think that on top of all the other medical things going on I'd be frustrated but this diagnosis brought some good news. Because of all the tests my doctor had run, she found that 1) I do NOT have insulin resistance and should have never been put on a medication for that 2) My blood levels are inconsistent for someone with PCOS. Now, she suggested that I have an ovarian ultrasound to be completely sure but she said that my blood looked good so it could just be one ovary instead of both.

That's two MAJOR things that were taken off (well, just about) my list of "ailments" which also means I'm not taking as many medications as I was before. In fact, now I'm only taking one. Nexium for GERD. That and vitamins, including Rhodiola Rosea. Rhodiola rosea helps with so many things but mainly fatigue and has been SO nice to have around.

Ready to Run

Don't worry, I'm not going to post about my running experiences every day but I AM going to be writing about it. Often. Why? Because that's what kept me going the first time I started running. 

Running is a weird experience for me. 

My lungs hate it, until about 20 minutes in. 

My feet love it until about 20 minutes after I'm finished.

My brain keeps saying "I can do this!" but my legs start to feel like jello after not too long.

Not only that but I have been on a running "hiatus" for almost a year now because of a stress fracture, followed by flair ups of tendonitis. So, I've been SO chicken pants to start running again. Getting hurt is not fun and I don't want to go through that again. Therefore, I've been avoiding running until today.

This time will be different!!

For example, today I changed some things about how I ran. 

I used the full 5 minutes of my warm up and actually warmed up instead of just jumping right on in to running. I prayed that my body would be able to handle it. I actually used my inhaler. 

I made sure I had a killer playlist. 

And I stretched when I got home. Good, LONG stretching. 

It's been about 20 minutes since I got back home and guess what?

My feet don't hurt like they usually do. They're a little tired but I did just go running to that is to be expected, I think. I also feel really good. My body is a little tired but I know that I was only able to run as well as I did this morning because I gave everything I had and I had divine help. Because I asked for it. 

I am still using my Couch to 5K app on my phone so I didn't run a full 30 minutes or anything but those minutes I was supposed to run, I ran!

So, here goes! 8 weeks of training, 3 days a week. 

Totally doable. 

And on my "off" days I'll be doing my stability ball and Jillian Michaels work outs. 

It's also the first day of Fall Semester classes! I haven't been this excited about school for a long time but this semester, I'm taking some really exciting classes! French and Italian Cinema, Food in the Home, History of Design and Architecture part 2! I'm stoked. 

So, here's to new beginnings! Happy September everyone!