Earth's Angels

Two things you need to know about this post:

1. This is not a post about The Penguins' song Earth Angel (and I am sorry if it is now stuck in your  head).

2. This is a long post but, please, stick with me and read to the end. I promise you won't regret it. 

Who They Are and Why They Are Important

Have you ever met someone that you just instantly like? Not because they are trying to be likable, even though they are very likable, but because there is a certain spirit about them? No malice. Just humility, love, kindness and a touch of gumption. That's how I felt when I met Neil's cousin Jaiden and later, the girl who would become his wife, Beckah. But let's start with Jaiden. Neil had told me story after story about the two of them growing up. Neil would always say how much more of a brother Jaiden was than a cousin. Naturally, I was excited to meet Jaiden and have been grateful for the opportunity to know him ever since. Jaiden is the kind of man who can roll with the punches, he is quick witted but never unkind and he has one of the purest hearts I have ever known. He respects his mother and his wife and all women and isn't afraid of showing tough love when it's needed. But what makes me admire him even more is the fact that my husband does. My husband loves his cousin and has said time and time again how grateful he has been to have Jaiden there in his darkest moments even when Jaiden didn't know it was. Neil has said how much he hopes to be like Jaiden because of his genuine goodness and much more. On top of everything else good about Jaiden, how can I not love someone who my husband looks up to in that way? It would be impossible.

Then there is Beckah. Words cannot describe the purity of this wonderful woman. I don't remember exactly when we met, unfortunately, but I do remember what I thought of her. I remember thinking, "How is it possible that someone that good exists? No wonder she and Jaiden hit it off!"

We've been asked by numerous people if we are sisters and someone once even asked if we were twins. It tickles me every time it happens and every time I want to shout, "YUP! And she's a darn good sister, too!" Every single time I am flattered beyond words. I would absolutely claim her! I want to be as closely connected to someone that pure of heart, that righteous, that patient, that genuinely kind, that good as I possibly can. I still do because it rubs off. Not in a magical, stand-next-to-me-and-I'll-become-like-you kind of way but in the way that when you surround yourself with people like her, and you want to stay surrounded by them, you have to choose to become better. And you have their example right there, smack dab in front of you to teach you how. 

These are two of earth's angels. Flesh and blood angels. And I am beyond blessed to have them in my life. I mean, look at them! They radiate the love of God. They carry Christ's countenance with them and share His light with anyone and everyone who they encounter.  They are supremely, genuinely good. It is with their permission that I share the story that follows a bit later in this post. 

The Tale of Two Babies

 Back in May, when Neil and I found out that we pregnant, we couldn't wait to share the news with Jaiden and Beckah. Beckah and I had talked a few times about my worries that it might never happen for us. Two years is nothing in comparison to so many others' stories of infertility but for me and Neil, it was hard. Really, really, hard. Beckah listened every time I needed to talk about it and never disregarded my feelings. So, naturally, I wanted them to be some of the very first people we told but I wanted to do it in person. Jaiden's sister Anna was getting married soon and so Neil and I decided to tell them then. When we did, the amount of pure joy they had for us was off the charts. We could feel that they were excited for us, genuinely and perfectly. It was amazing to feel that and share that with them. Little did we know that a few weeks later, they would be calling us and sharing the good news that they too were pregnant! 

 It was soon discovered that our due dates were 9 days apart. I was over the moon because I knew that our babies would grow up together. We all talked about the excitement we had and then they told us they would be having a boy!! The anticipation for us to find out the gender of our baby was too much to handle and soon enough we were making that call to them. There was never a moment's thought of jealousy either direction. There was never a day that I didn't pray for them and their little family. Our joy for them was full and real and I was grateful for them. It's a feeling I can't really explain. 

Our joy is still full however, due to circumstances no one could've seen coming, it is full in a much different way. 

The Tale of an Angel

Just last week, early Monday morning, Jaiden called Neil. Beckah's water had broken and they were at the hospital. 

Neil drove to where I work, and when I saw his face, my heart dropped. Then he told me what had happened and together we cried for our cousins and their baby boy. 

We cried and prayed. It was all we could do. 

Jaiden shared the following just a few days later:

"Samuel Olsen came into and left this world yesterday. Beckah's water broke early Monday morning. Almost 50 heartbreaking hours later, we welcomed our perfect tiny baby boy. He weighs a shocking 15.1 oz and is 11.25" long (for only being 21 weeks he was a big boy). We are so lucky to be the parents of such a perfect little boy who only needed a body to finish his work here on earth. It is comforting to know that we have an angel in heaven watching over us and giving us a little extra motivation to be a little better. We are so blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful family and friends. We thank each of you for your love, prayers, and support. We miss you Samuel." 

The Rest of the Story

Honestly, there isn't an end to this story yet. Jaiden and Beckah laid their son to rest and continue to be genuinely at peace with the Lord's plan for them. They continue to embrace and have faith in the Lord's Plan of Salvation. They continue to walk in righteousness before the Lord and they continue to inspire me. They have expressed to me and Neil that they are still excited for our baby boy. They want to be involved and see our son grow up as they would have seen Samuel. They are still cheering us on even though it would be so easy for them not to. But there is no malice. Just humility, love, kindness and a touch of gumption. There is an army of angels carrying them, I am sure, but most importantly there is an angel waiting for them, watching for them and loving them from afar. His name is Samuel. 

I am grateful for two earth angels who, despite this heartbreaking and what could be faith shaking experience, have remained by the Lord's side and shown me what the true meaning of faith is. My admiration of them and my love for my Heavenly Father has grown over this last week. I know that Christ lives. I know that because He lives, we can live with Him again and Jaiden and Beckah will be reunited with their precious Samuel.

A Baby for the Olsens

I realize that the majority of the people who read my blog follow me on other social media outlets however, that won't stop me from sharing this story (which in all reality should have been written up a couple months ago). 

You may remember, though it has been some time, the day I posted about going on a hike with my best friend, Erin. On that hike we had talked about a plethora of things as we always do. 

One of those things was our hopes and dreams regarding our future family lives.

That particular topic took up a good portion of our hike and later that day, after I was home, I felt like I should take a pregnancy test. 

I actually kept telling myself that I didn't need to and that it would be the same result as the last million times I'd done it in the last two years. Negative. So, why? I kept a few tests at home but I didn't feel pregnant, and my cycle, which ranged anywhere from 60 to 80 days in length on average, hadn't even hit the 45 day mark. 

I finally decided to take the chance. Usually, as per the instructions for the pee-on-a-stick tests, you have to wait for 3 minutes before an accurate reading can be read. For me though, a faint, a very very faint but still very much THERE, line appeared on the test. 

I counted and recounted.
Two lines=pregnant. 

But that couldn't be real. It was probably a false positive. 

I cleaned up, left the stick on the sink counter, and headed to CVS to buy some more tests. Different brands this time because I had a store brand and surely a brand name test would give me a more accurate result. 

On my way home, I called Neil. I asked him, "Do you want me to tell you now or wait until you get home?" Of course he said to tell him then, it's rather hard to judge when you want to hear some news when you don't know what that news is! So I said, "I think, I THINK, I might be pregnant. I just went and bought another test to try again." He was cautiously excited and told me to wait until he got home to take it. And so I did. 

But wouldn't you know it? The darn test I bought was faulty. It gave me an error reading. 

I was out of tests and out of pee. 

We decided to trek to Target to pick up a variety of pregnancy tests (because they were having a sale...go figure) and by the time we got back home, I had a full, non-watered down bladder and an army of pregnancy tests. 

Test #2 (okay, #3) was, again, positive. That second little line showed up pretty rapidly, however faintly. 

Over the course of the next few weeks, I took a test every few days. All positive. However, that didn't stop me from being skeptical. I called my OBGYN and set up an appointment for a few weeks down the road. 

Those few weeks were torture but finally the day came and we went into the office cautiously excited. 

After the nurse called us back and took all the notes she needed from me, she sent in the doctor. He was so nice and asked all the same questions and then some. Finally, it was time to look for proof of a baby via the ultrasound machine. 

Based on our baby's size, baby was 6 weeks 5 days, not 8 weeks 1 day as we had thought. Apparently this is common for women with PCOS. We don't ovulate with the same kind of reliability as those without PCOS so I had just ovulated later than the "normal time". Because of this, we couldn't hear the heartbeat but we sure could see it! That little bean shaped nugget in my uterus was showing off as best it could and it made us both so excited. About a month later we were able to hear our little baby's heartbeat and I fell to pieces. My midwife was tickled that I cried and said it is her favorite part of the job.

I've made it safely and soundly through the first trimester and a good way into the second. Our baby is doing well, growing, kicking, moving limbs and having a good ol' time inside of me. 

I treasure this child, I pray for this child everyday, as I did before this baby was even growing inside of me. I cherish every little movement I can feel and every picture we can get at our checkups. I am grateful because I am blessed with a husband who will be a fantastic father and who is excited to be one.

February 1st, take your time getting here but not too much time, okay? We really can't wait to meet this little baby face to face.